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I’m going to get you Religion if it’s the last thing I do.

28/10/2017

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I’m going to make you wince and whimper and wish I was never born.

Ok so God tell me what you want to say to me right now?

Mark I’ve had enough of religion too.

Ok but God I’m just totally fed up with it.

Yes. Me too.

Yeah but God you’re not listening! I just want to have a vent. I don’t want an official, nice-enough-to-publish conversation with you about it. I’ve had enough God!! I want to tell you what I think about these mealymouthed, anal, nitpicking religious types.

They spend their lives ranting about their rule-bound, scripture-only-focused Christianity to other people’s audiences because they don’t have their own.  Their message is so lifeless and boring that no one wants to listen to them; so they come and annoy the thousands of people I’m talking to.

God what’s with that?? I just plain don’t get it. The thing that really makes me shake my head is that so many of them are young. When we were that age, we had a bit more life, we understood the excitement of a relationship with you, not with the bible. That’s what their relationship is with, it’s the blimmen bible. Sorry God, I know it’s your word and all, but it’s not supposed to take the place of hearing you direct.

Don’t be sorry Mark. Remember Satan quoted scripture at me.

Well God it used to be much older people, but just as lifeless as this new younger group of religious gripers – they’d stand up in church, and read from the bible and then look all pious and say rubbish like, “May God bless the reading of his most holy word.” For goodness sake, no wonder the un-churched can’t relate to us. Actually come to think of it, I think I said something stupid like that myself once after I read out loud from the bible. But I got over it quickly when I realised how religious it all was.

When we were young, thousands of us, actually millions on millions of us stood up and said “ENOUGH!!”, “Enough of your religion”, we demanded that God speak to us direct, and you were to comply. You welcomed it!! We refused to buy into Religion’s lie that we needed to spend half our lives reading our bibles and quoting verses.

And yet the crazy thing was that at the same time, we read our bibles probably more than the stuffed shirts whose religion we were rebelling against. Of course the bible is your word, but you’re not bound by it in relationship any more than a human can only speak to his friends through txting.

But now all these kids, our children’s generation, are acting like a whole bunch of pre-Charasmatics, like hell-bent lunatics, an apt description in this case, hell-bent on blocking their own and everyone else’s ears to what your Spirit is saying. They leave me speechless as they chant out their boring mantras.

They say stuff like, “To read, to study, to meditate upon the words of the Bible, prayerfully, intentionally, faithfully and humbly, is to enter into the most wonderful conversation with the Living God.” Spare me God!! The intention is good, but us humans don’t talk like that, Religious Automatons might, but real people don’t.  

They pretend a conversation with you, but what they’re doing is reading the bible, remembering popular interpretation, and pretending that it’s direct revelation from you. They’re not demanding to hear you speak direct to their spirits.

They’re too scared they might get it wrong. They have no vision to know what you’re thinking and so they rail against anyone with the courage to do so. They’re leading themselves and so many others to darkness. It gets my goat God!!! I’m serious, I’ve had enough of them I really have. Our generation wouldn’t have put up with them.


And God the thing that really ticks me off is that their own knowledge of scripture is so sadly lacking. They trot out their popular understanding of scripture and pretend they’ve heard it as direct revelation when clearly they haven’t.

I have a young mate who’s seriously seeking more contact with you, but he is left dismayed at the rule-bound dementia these people, mostly young like him, display. I’m not sure whether I’m madder at the youngsters who should have the balls to demand more than their ‘bible book club Christianity’, as my friend calls it, or those few older Zeds Zeds who lead them astray.

They go on and on about checking everything with the bible, and they seem to miss that I probably have a better command of scripture than they do. Yes you speak through scripture. You always have and I’m guessing you always will. But what about the people who have no scripture and yet still hear you.

How come those religious busybodies don’t get excited when they hear those stories? How come they don’t think “Wow, God speaks even without the bible”? It just makes me shake my head God, I think they’re so bible-mad that if you turned up in person and were speaking down on the beach at Mission Bay that they’d prefer to stay at home and read their bibles in case you said something on the beach that didn’t fit with their knowledge of scripture.

And I would Mark.

Would what God?

Say things that disagreed with their narrow view of scripture.

God that’s not nice, they and plenty of the normal not so religious Christians will think I made that up, they’ll think I’m putting words in your mouth, suggesting that you think those religious ones, those nitpicking ones who are always griping about my conversations have a narrow view of scripture.

They have such a warped, over-zealous view of scripture, that such a comment will hit them right where it hurts God. So although I like the idea of hitting them there because they’re starting to tick me off, that still doesn’t seem very nice God. It’s one thing for me to want take a swipe at them, but naughty to suggest that you do.

You’re not suggesting anything Mark. I am. And they’re not the only ones with a pitifully narrow view of scripture, you all have that. You Christians have an increasingly narrow view of scripture. You don’t have any real idea what it means, you just quote the well known verses and satisfy yourselves with the popular understanding of what they mean.

Ok. Yes you’re probably right God.

Very right Mark. You are personally friends with four doctors of theology, experts, far more expert than your nitpickers as you call them. And yet each of your friends, experts, doctors in scripture, admit that their views are way too narrow.

Oh man God!!! I like my expert mates, those doctors of theology and divinity buddies. They’re brainy and inspiring people. They know how to think, not like these predictably, boringly religious types I’m telling you off about.

Yes. I like them too. A lot. Mark they themselves admit that their views are narrow. That’s part of what drives their study. They know they’re only just getting started, which is why they don’t grandstand and tout their knowledge like the people you’re up against. They’re too busy trying to learn more.022

Okaaay. What’s your point God. I want to just vent, grumble, tell you I’m ticked off with these people who grizzle, who want to grandstand on my facebook page, and annoy my readers with their nasty narrow minded comments about how you’re not really God, because you don’t say what they think the bible says you say.

Why?

Because I’m annoyed, just want to ‘have a go’ I guess.

It’s more than that Mark.

What do you mean?

You’re perplexed. Unsure.

About what?

You know about what. You can’t figure out how these young people are so religious in their view of me.

Yeah, what’s with that God??? When we were kids, there was a whole generation of us encouraged by people like Loren Cunningham of YWAM, the Garratts of Scripture in Song, Winkie Pratney, Larry Norman, Keith Green, Barry McGuire. They did so much to encourage millions of us to discover that we could hear you. Just hear you. And now here are all these kids, our children’s generation, convinced they can only hear you if they read the bible. What on earth is that about???

And those who acknowledge it’s possible to hear you direct, still have to check everything that anyone, me included, hears from you against scripture. That’s a great idea, but without your Spirit to teach them they misconstrue scripture. And most of them don’t know enough of it anyway. They don’t realise that what they think scripture means is not necessarily what it means at all. They seem to have missed the idea that anything written down needs to be interpreted, and interpretations differ. These Zed Zeds and others mischievous busybodies are pretending to 'disciple' these well meaning youngsters, but are actually destroying what a generation of your greats did to set people free from Religion.

As I have often said Mark, Religion is the most powerful demonic force. It masquerades as truth while leading so many down to misery in my name.
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I have no interest in bowling you flat with my glory.

23/10/2017

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I’m not a flirt, or a show off, I want relationship, not compulsive adoration.

God I don’t know any more if I hear you when you say stuff about my business. I was sure you said that new client was going to come on board, but they haven’t. Not yet anyway.

Is not yet, not good enough Mark?

Well no, I guess it’s not. I thought you said it was going to happen this week, so now I feel like I got the whole thing wrong.

Actually you got part of the thing right, it is going to happen.

But not this week?

Not for a while.

Sounds like a cop out God. It’s easy for me to relax when you say that, but how do I know it will happen, if it doesn’t happen straight away?

How do you know it will happen when a human promises you something?

Depends on how reliable I’ve found them to be God.

Exactly.

Exactly what?

Mark you understand that things don’t happen overnight when a human promises them. You don’t evaluate the truth of what they’ve said based on how quickly the thing happens – if you think they’re reliable you’re prepared to trust what they said said will come to pass.

True God.

So are you having issues with how reliable you think I am Mark?

Oh man God!! I guess this more about trusting you like a good Christian should? What does that even mean?

No. Making a choice to trust someone, a human or me, is a different matter – related, but different. What I’m talking about is how reliable you’ve found that someone, a human or me, to be. I’m not asking ‘will you trust me’, but rather ‘have you found me to be trustworthy?’

Ok?

So how reliable have you found me to be Mark? I’m not asking you to trust something you don’t know about, you and I have had a fair amount of dealings, done a lot of the down and dirty aspects of life together. I don’t want to know if you will trust me Mark, I can see you’re trying. I’m just asking a plain old question; how reliable have you found me to be?

Pretty good God.

Explain.

Well you said that my son would be cured of Leukaemia, and years later you said my baby daughter would live even though she was dying a number of times every day, and then you told me my wife would come back when she left me.

And Mark?

And OK everything you said would happen did. It took 14 years for the picture you gave me about my daughter to come to pass, and five years before my wife came back, and two years before the doctors said my son was out of danger, but ok, yes it happened. So yes, I guess you’re reliable.

Good, glad to hear it Mark (smile). So if you’ve been wondering whether you can hear me talk about your business, wondering if you get that stuff wrong, what sort of things do you think you can hear me about?

I don’t actually know anymore God. It makes me doubt everything when you say something, then it doesn’t seem to happen. And then to make it even more confusing, I think I heard you say yesterday that when listening to you, words like ‘will be’, can be mistaken for ‘can be’, or ‘has been’?

You think Mark?

Well ok, I’m pretty sure you said that.

Yes. I’ll explain. Words can be mistaken when talking to anyone. How often do you get the wrong impression when talking to a human? It makes you want to stop talking to them, but most of the time you have no real choice, you have to keep talking to them. With me it’s different, I am the easiest friend to shut down on, I’ve designed it that way. You can easily send me away, easily drop and forget me

Feeling bad God.

Don’t. I’ve designed it that way. It has to be easy to block me out, otherwise we couldn’t have a relationship.

What God? I don’t understand that.

Yes you do. The only reason we can have a proper sort of relationship, a friendship, not a ‘mighty God with overawed human’ religious sort of relationship, is that I don’t make myself overpoweringly obvious.

Okaaaay. Just thinking that through God.

Good. Do. Mark, you can’t have a friendship sort of relationship when the other person is overpowering. If Bob Dylan phoned you up and said he just wanted to be your mate you’d find it difficult. You’d be so overwhelmed if that happened that you’d not be able to relate to him like one of your real friends. Bob would have to ‘make himself small and un-Dylanish’. If Bob wanted to have a proper friendship with you, he’d have to disguise himself as someone else. It’s the same for me – I have to hide a lot of myself, disguise it. If you could see me in all my glory you wouldn’t have a chance of shutting down on me.

Sometimes I think that would be good God.

Actually it wouldn’t. You’d be an adoring fan, not a friend – a slave, not a buddy.  You think it’s my Holy Spirit reminding you of my glory, it has to be right? But actually no. When my Spirit gets involved I come as an illegitimate baby in a stinky barn. When the Spirit gets involved you’ll always find me ‘making myself a little lower than the angels’, washing feet, arriving on a donkey. I’m not invisible because of your sin Mark, I’m invisible because I’m invisible.

God hang on! There are too many big concepts here, all coming at me at once.

You’re understanding them all Mark. Don’t panic. Here’s what I’m saying; Satan reminds you of my power and glory, my overwhelmingness and you think it has to be me saying those things, surely Satan wouldn’t?? But yes he would. Having scared you a bit with my tremendousness, a tremendousness that I hide from you – argue with that if you want Mark - but it’s obvious in nature and in scripture. I HIDE MYSELF! I don’t run around making a big show of myself. Almost never.

Alright true enough God, carry on.

Ok so having given you a warped picture of me as God the wonderfully, overwhelmingly glorious and mighty one, and told you that you are unworthy, just a worm and oh so lucky to be forgiven by me, Satan then plants thoughts you think are your own, like ‘why don’t you show yourself God??’ He does that because it is completely contrary to my nature. That’s what a lie is like. Contrary. He paints me as tremendous, glorious, ever-powerful, and of course I am all that, but I am invisible to the human eye, clearly visible to the spirit, but not to the eye. Always hiding myself (in plain sight) on purpose.

On purpose God?

On purpose. I’m like a woman. Wonderful. Mysterious, ever-powerfully able to change so much in your life. But a true woman hides all that, you have to find it, search for it. Prostitution and pornography is the overt display of that which is meant to be uncovered by a true lover, not displayed to all.

Satan prostitutes my glory, pretends I want to display it like some mad cosmic flirt. He lies. I keep my power hidden so that it is only seen by those who want to see it. Why? Is it yet another of Christianity’s tests? No, that again is a lie of his about my nature. I hide myself so as not to overwhelm you, so as to allow a relationship. You can’t have a relationship with a prostitute, everything hidden is too much on display. There’s no pursuit, no unfolding, no discovery, it’s all there already. It’s no different with me. I want you to discover, unfold, get to know me. I have no interest in bowling you flat with my glory. I’m not a flirt, a show off, a prostitute, I want relationship, not compulsive adoration.

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    Mark Holloway

    My marriage came crashing down and me with it. The devastation began sinking in and me with it. Nothing I knew was the same anymore. It was horrible and I was terrified. I threw my pride to the wind and screamed (literally) to God.

    To my complete amazement He spoke back and has ever since. This is the foundation on what has completely changed my life day-by-day, conversation-by-conversation. It continues to heal our marriage and family after five years apart.

    I could tell you many things about me, and they are good things but discovering ‘this back and forth conversation with God’ is the thing that shaping me into the most authentic me I’m coming to know. And it’s all here, free for you too, to embrace.

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  • Buy The Book "The Freedom Diaries" $29.95
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