The bible’s a funny book Mark.

Go away God! I don't find it amusing when you say things like that. The moment I let you open up on stuff like that it’s me that gets in the gun. In the old days they’d burn you at the stake for disagreeing with their perspective on the bible.

These days they blithely call you a heretic and start ranting to others that you’re deceived, evil blah blah blah. So go away please God I don’t want to know – “the bible’s a funny book”. I mean seriously!!

But I do want to talk about this.

God!! NO!!! I don’t want this discussion.

Why not?

I just told you.

Actually Mark, shall I explain something?

Well alright, obviously you’re going to anyway. So be my guest.

I won’t if you don’t want Mark.

Oh whatever God. Go for it. Spill the beans.

If you’re sure.

I’m sure.


Ok. This is from the one who sees the heart. I know the real reasons you do things.

Oh oh…

But I’m always gentle about what I expose Mark. The real reason you don’t like me talking about things that challenge popular Christian teaching is not the controversy it causes. Be honest, you love controversy, anything for a reaction.

You could have fooled me God, the constant accusations that I’m a heretic and deceived wear me down.

Actually they don’t, they invigorate you, they bring the problem out in the open, expose the attitudes that Religion has slipped unnoticed into organised Christianity. Once seen you can attack and decimate them, you like that Mark. You’ve sworn an oath before me to destroy Religion, to make him cower. You know that. I know that.

Ok. Alright I admit it. So if that’s not the reason then tell me what is? Why don’t I like you dropping stuff like that on me? Because God one thing’s for sure, I don’t. I do not like it when you drop subjects on me like “The bible’s a funny book.” That just doesn’t sound like you God.

Exactly and there lies the problem. It’s not what others think, it’s what you think Mark. This whole idea, conversation like this with me, defies everything you’ve ever been taught about God, Jesus, Christianity, heaven and hell. It’s not everyone else’s religion that you’re worried about, it’s your own. You are still, after all these years and three books about it, still uncomfortable about this idea of talking back and forth with me.

Well God it’s so weird, you have to admit that! It’s not just the naysayers this sounds weird to, it sounds weird to me too!!

Alright good. Now you’re being honest. No it’s not weird at all Mark, just not taught. Not known. Unfamiliar. Like a toddler learning to walk. Something in that child tells them they were born for this, that walking is just the beginning of what they were born for – but something else screams “be careful you might fall.” When we speak like this your problem is you’re hearing the “be careful you might fall” voice.

Ok?

So Mark shall we continue? I want to talk about the bible, it’s a funny book.

Do I have a choice?

Of course.

Not really God. Not if I don’t want to upset you.

Mark I’m very difficult to upset. If your kids won’t talk about what you want to, how upset are you really?

Well sometimes, quite a lot. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but sometimes I get a bit shitty when they don’t want to talk about what I want to.

Exactly again Mark, but me, I’m not like that. I have nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t get…

NO! Don’t say that word God. If I write that word as coming out of your mouth I’ll get excommunicated.

No you won’t. You’re not ‘communicated’ to anything anyway Mark, but you’d be surprised how hungry people are for the God that speaks like them, the God who’s not prissy, not a prude. The real God. Humans are screaming out for the real God, and religious people like you are putting them off.

Religious?? Man God that’s a bit blimmen hurtful.

Well Mark you are. The reason you don’t like me startling you with conversations about the bible being a funny book, or the racial strife between Pakeha and Maori, is that those subjects challenge your real perspective on me. You’re nailed hard to that god you think crucified his own son in your place. That god who’s focused on your sin, focused on getting you ‘pure’ to keep you out of hell.

Yes I knew you would crucify my son, but no I didn’t crucify him, didn’t need to punish someone. Yes I used the cross to defeat your enemy but not in the way you think I did. If you all listened to me instead of spending your lives telling me, you’d understand Mark.

Man God, you just stir this stuff up on purpose don’t you (smiling). If it was someone else you were talking to I’d laugh, think it funny, but somehow it’s not when you talk to me.

Yes it is. Very funny. You’re wanting to laugh right now. You love that I’m a God with a brain, a God who doesn’t buy Religion’s lies.

Ok fine. That’s what I love. Are you going to talk about why the bible’s a funny book or not??

I’ll take that as permission (smiling).

You said you were smiling?

Of course. You’re created in my image. You smile, which means I do too.

Ok, carry on God.

Mark the bible’s a funny book.

Alright I’ll humour you God, why is the bible a funny book?

Because it’s true, yet what so many people think it says is a lie. Because it’s not a riddle, the truth is there in plain sight, but it’s presented as though it was a riddle. Some things are not fully stated, others are stated in one way, and then later in the opposite.

Alright, ok God. Give me some examples. But before you do, you know this is a problem right? People think the bible is sacred, almost as though they think the pages themselves are somehow holy or something, so writing down these words of yours will have them up in arms.

As we’ve already discussed Mark, that’s not your problem so drop it. Your problem is that you yourself are incredulous that I’d say such a thing about the bible. It challenges your thinking.

Alright true God.

And Mark that’s the devil’s trick. He makes you think of the bible as some sacred document, a book to be careful of, a book to tread gently around, a book that can be offended in some mystic way. He lies. The bible is a bunch of stories about people and the way they spoke to me and I spoke back. Me. God. Not some lofty God, but me. Jesus. I’m the one who turned up the illegitimate child of a girl from Nazereth, the wrong side of the tracks. I’m not prissy, not precious, I invented the birth process, the bloody mess that leads to life. I’m a realist Mark. I have to be, I invented reality.

Your point God?

That the bible, if it really is documented history about humans and me, and it is, then it’s not to be treated religiously or carefully. It’s a book to be challenged and dug into.

Really?

Really. If I invite you to challenge me personally…

Isaiah 1:18: “Come let us reason together [‘yakach’: to decide, adjudge, prove, reprove]

If I invite you to reprove me, while I do the same to you, then obviously, without question I’m inviting you to do the same to the book that includes human’s words to me and mine back to them.

God that’s not how the bigwigs like to think of the bible. They don’t call it “human’s words to you and yours back to them.” They say in hallowed tones that it’s ‘your word’. Obviously saying it that way makes them sound important to themselves.

Mark they’re not alone. You like to sound important to yourself too.

Smiling. Ok true God. Point taken.

Mark the bible is not ‘my word’, it contains some of my words. Comparatively very few given that the heavens pour forth speech. I speak more words in a single day, every day Mark, than those recorded in the bible.

Oh no. You didn’t just say that God!!

I did Mark. Get over yourself. The bible isn’t ‘my word’, it’s some of my words along with a lot of human history. My ‘word’ is Jesus. My ‘words’ are the words that proceed from my mouth. Some of which are recorded in the bible, most of which are not.

Oh dear dear dear dear dear!

Yes. The problem is serious.

That’s not what I meant God!! You know that.

Yes. Just being clever Mark. Shall we continue?

You’re going to anyway, so yes let me have it, both barrels.

Ok Mark here’s the point. This conversation is just the introduction. The bible is a funny book. What you think it means it doesn’t. You think it’s incredibly important for religious reasons. You’re wrong. It’s important, actually far more important than any of you realises, but for reasons you don’t even understand. The bible contains truths, just inside the door of the book, that none of you ever get to. You’re too busy dissecting the passages in the door way of the book to get any further.

Whatever happened to the idea that listening to me led you to things you’d never heard before Mark? You’re all so busy trying to hear, and hear again all the things you already know. And yet you don’t know those things at all. Ask your friends who’ve given their lives to studying the bible, people like Mark Virkler, or Charity, or Baxter Kruger, Mark Keown, Bryden Black or Geoff Woodcock, they’ll tell you that the more one learns about the bible, the more one learns that you know almost nothing.

Even those popular passages, the ones you’re all fixated on, are largely misunderstood by almost all of Christendom. Including you. Especially including you.

You said that last bit God. Especially including me?

Of course. When you decide like you have to spend your life listening to me you quickly discover that actually you know nothing. Or like your great buddy Geoff Hill says, “you don’t know what you don’t know”.

Ok. As usual God, you start out talking about something simple – “the bible’s a funny book”, and suddenly we’re all over the blimmen planet of truth.

Stick with me Mark we’re going somewhere. The bible’s a funny book - it’s not about what you all think it’s about.

Oh lovely God.

Mark steady on… remember “Call to me and I will show you things you know nothing about.”

Ok, so explain why it’s a funny book God.

Two very simple examples Mark. We’ve talked about them both before but in a different context. But I’ll stick with them to make this easy for you. First is the Abraham story. People, well-meaning people, make the ridiculous assumption that the number of times I spoke to Abraham in the bible is the total number of times I spoke to Abraham. Honestly? You Christians need to recognise the bible is a brainy book and can’t be understood unless you use your brains when you read it. What have I told you about that topic Mark?

That the times you spoke to Abraham recorded in the bible, are simply the ones recorded in the bible?

Yes. That’s my point. You Christians make ridiculous assumptions about the bible, you included. You read something and you decide what it means and then deify what you think. You forget to ask me, you don’t know how because you think I’m confined to having to speak through scripture. Of course I speak through scripture. But Mark, sorry to offend you, I speak through Beatles songs and Harry Potter Novels too. I’ll speak through whatever I have to, I’m not precious remember.

What about you Mark? Can you only talk to your kids by txt, or are you happy to phone them, skype them and even just sit and talk with them?

Mark my second point, another bible story, is this. The bible makes it clear that arch angels, when speaking to the devil, in one situation at least, rather than rebuke him direct, called on me to rebuke him.

Yes?

And yet in another passage the bible makes it clear that archangels wrestle with the prince of darkness themselves, with no mention of deferring the battle to me.

Point God??

It’s a funny book Mark. It says one thing, and then another. You can’t build a doctrine on a passage. Why am I telling you this?

Because we need to listen to you speak direct to our spirits to explain what the bible does and doesn’t mean.

Exactly. How long before I can speak with you like friends, and not my religious servants? I spilled a lot of blood for the right Mark, as did the prophets. Will this be the generation that learns at last to hear me speak direct?

(The importance of getting it right when you ask the tough questions.)

God I’ve got a difficult subject to discuss with you. People aren’t going to like it.
 
Welcome to the club. Anyone who tries to hear my voice, I mean hear it so clearly they could run their lives by it – they get in trouble.

Why?

Because hearing me that clearly threatens those who don’t.

God even that will get people’s backs up, make them think I’m saying that about myself.

Mark anyone can hear me as clearly as you, clearer if they want. It’s up to them. You’re nothing special in that regard. The other problem with listening to me is that I will tell you things no one’s ever heard before, and before you get too excited, that’s in the bible. I said it to Jeremiah – ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things that you don’t know anything about.’

That will worry people too God. Actually it will reeaally worry them. Us Christians like to stick with what we already know, we don’t like you saying stuff that doesn’t fit with what we already know.

Yes.

Yes what?

Yes that’s what you Christians are like. But of course that’s not what the bible teaches. Read Paul’s letters and you’ll see that the things he heard from me were new to him. Although a great authority on scripture, I kept telling him things he knew nothing about.

Ok well I have a subject I need to ask you about God. Christians won’t like it, it’s tabu, they’ll think it’s not something one should ever ask you.

Mark every subject is one that you should ask me. The bible calls me ‘Mighty Counsellor’. So ask your question.

You already know what I’m going to ask God.

Yes, but I still ask Mark, it shows respect, starts a conversation. Remember what I said to Elijah when he ran from Jezebel; “What are you doing here Elijah?” I knew exactly what he was doing there, but I wanted to talk to him at his level.

God can you stop changing the subject, it’s as though you don’t want to discuss this.

Of course I do, but there’s time Mark. I love these conversations. I like poking subjects in the gaps when you take a breath, but fire away, ask your question.

(Smiling to myself) Man, I gotta like you God. OK here’s my question: I heard about a lady who came to hear Miriam and I teach at a church, we taught them how to have a conversation with you, and when she tried hers she thought she heard you say to leave her husband. So she did.

What’s the problem Mark?

GOD!!! You know what the problem is.

Yes of course, it’s a big problem, but I want to see if you know.

Well it’s huge God, I’m guessing her husband’s life has been completely destroyed, he’s probably even considered suicide, and I don’t know if there are any kids, but they’ll be scarred forever too.

God the wife will probably say the kids are happier now there’s no strife in the home, but that’s a cop out, any counsellor can tell you that. Everyone suffers huge damage in a marriage split. And then of course the Christians will say there is no way that you would ever tell someone to leave their husband. It’ll be a big mess. Although I imagine the wife is very happy, she’s out of a hurtful situation and probably telling herself you said she could.

And what do you say Mark?

Well I think it would be rare for you do so, that’s just me. The situation would have to be pretty terrible I think, but I’ve learned it’s dangerous to say “God would never say”…

I learned that years ago when a Pastor’s advisor told me I didn’t hear from God.

What happened to you is common Mark. Write it down. I want it recognised for what it is. It cripples you Christians. You live by rules and assumptions and forget to ask me.

Ok well our church had a big conference and the pastor urged us all to attend. So I planned to go, and as the conference approached I asked you if I should, and you said I should attend the first meeting…

Yes I did.

Ok good, but you said I should spend the rest of that weekend doing other things.

Right again.

Ok well the pastor’s advisor said that proved I didn’t hear from God. He said the pastor is God’s voice to the church – so if the Pastor says go to conference, then that’s what God is saying, no questions asked.

Yes exactly.

Yes exactly what God??

Yes you were right to be horrified at such a comment.

Ok so God this lady thought you said to leave her husband – did you…actually no I don’t want to know!

Good. That’s not your place to ask, it’s her place to challenge me, to demand again and again to know whether she heard me right. And the longer she leaves it to do that, the more damage she will do.

But will she want to God?

That’s not your business either Mark. That’s between her and me too.

But God I feel like I need to explain a bit to people about how to hear you on tricky subjects like this. The potential to get it wrong is high if they’re in a marriage that’s hurting them and they feel they can’t go on.

It’s not your place to explain Mark, it’s mine.

Ok, well are you going to??

Yes.

Here? Like right now??

Right now. Here’s how it works Mark. All those subjects – a woman who’s under pressure to abort her baby, a man who feels unloved by his wife and wants out, a teenager who wants to leave home, an old person who sees no hope and wants to end it all, a woman who thinks she’s gay and thinks I hate her.

No matter how difficult your situation, you can talk to me about it without fear of reprimand, or accusation. Don’t come to me and apologise, come and tell me how you feel. ‘No condemnation to those in Christ Jesus’ does NOT require sinless behaviour. If you’re in me, you’re in me, no matter what you just did or are planning to do. I talked to Cain before and after what he did.

So we just do whatever we like and you don’t mind??

Of course not Mark. I worry for you when you do things that harm you.

Will all those things you just listed harm a person?

Not all of them will harm, but all of them can.

God you’re supposed to be mad as hell about sin and operating a no-tolerance policy toward it. I’m at the top of the cult watch site in NZ because they say Miriam and I are heretics. Their blood boils when they hear the way you seem lenient when you talk to me.

What sort of God would I be if I couldn’t talk to people about those things? What sort of father would I be if I didn’t crouch down at their level, look them in the eye and ask how they were feeling - not tell them off, just put my arm around them and ask how they were feeling?

You Christians won’t let me be like that, you want me to be mad. Some of you even think I’ll send someone to hell if they take their own life. But if one of your kids were in any of those situations, you’d just want to sit with them. Maybe cry with them, maybe offer suggestions.

I would?

You would.

I wouldn’t be critical??

Not of your own kids no.

But I am of others God. Let’s be honest.

Yes. But with me there are no ‘others’ Mark. Everyone is my kid. So when they are in those situations I’m not that God you all want me to be. I’m not the judge. I’m the servant God.

So God are you saying if a person feels like you say to leave their partner, they should do it?

No.

What then God?

If a woman thinks I’m saying to leave her husband she can just leave - or she can do something else.

What’s that God?

She can challenge me on it. Ask and ask. Like you teach people to do. It’s what the bible says in Matthew 7:7. She needs to test the spirits – what she’s hearing is either my Spirit or the enemy’s and she needs to test that – vigorously. She needs to have the wisdom to realise that the stakes are so high, the potential damage so vicious, that it’s critical she spend the time required to get this right.

She doesn’t have to. She can just fly the coup the moment she thinks I say to do so, or she can test the spirits. Ask, ask and ask again. It depends how serious she is about hearing my voice. Does she want to hear my voice, or is she just looking for an out and ready to jump the moment she thinks she has one?

Ok God.

But what do most do Mark?

Well the moment you say ‘they can’, they run with that. That’s all they wanted from you, permission. They don’t really want to know what you think.

So why would I say ‘they can’?

Because they can, Moses made that clear. And you never force your will on them. So they can, and you’ll tell them that if they ask, but that doesn’t mean you want them to. What you want is a conversation. You want them to ask. You want them to say “Yes, but shall I God?”

What did you do when Miriam left and you thought I said she’d be back?

I asked again and again to make sure.

How often?

About twice an hour. Sorry but I did.

No sorries Mark, I loved it. You know that already.

Ok so that’s about 32 times a day God. And I did it for five years before she came back, which is 58,400 times. It was a serious situation God, I wanted to be sure I’d heard you, it would hurt too many people if I got it wrong.

I wrote down the question and wrote back your answer in faith every time, and I could never get you to say anything else but that she would come back. It was driving me mad.

What else did I say?

That our separation was my doing and that I needed a whole lot of time to change and Miriam needed a whole bunch of time to heal from the damage I had done to her.

Mark the woman who thinks I say to leave, and the husband whose life is destroyed when she does, both need to hear this conversation you’re having with me. In a situation like this everyone is to blame. They both need to accept that.

Ok well the other thing you told me was that Miriam would come back, but that you weren’t going to make her.

How did you know for sure I had said those things Mark?

Well at first I wasn’t sure.

So how did you get sure?

I asked. Again and again and again. And then all over again. Eventually I realised that either I was totally deceived or you really had said that.

How long did that take?

Maybe the first three years God, of asking at least 32 times a day, probably more. And also, because the subject was such a biggie, I showed my conversations with you to others and asked their opinion. I wanted to hear you clearly on the subject.

Yes.

So God are you saying that someone who thinks you’re saying to leave their husband or wife should ask you 36 times a day for three years?

No. I’m saying they should ask me until they could look me in the eye and say they are confident I am saying to do it, even with the damage their choice will do.

There aren’t any rules Mark. But if you wanted to make a rule for yourself it would be listen to me. If you want to live your life listening to me you’d better be prepared to ask and ask and ask until you know what I’ve said. Otherwise you should just get on with normal Christianity and only hear me from time to time in nudges and impressions.

I’m going to make you wince and whimper and wish I was never born.

Ok so God tell me what you want to say to me right now?

Mark I’ve had enough of religion too.

Ok but God I’m just totally fed up with it.

Yes. Me too.

Yeah but God you’re not listening! I just want to have a vent. I don’t want an official, nice-enough-to-publish conversation with you about it. I’ve had enough God!! I want to tell you what I think about these mealymouthed, anal, nitpicking religious types.

They spend their lives ranting about their rule-bound, scripture-only-focused Christianity to other people’s audiences because they don’t have their own.  Their message is so lifeless and boring that no one wants to listen to them; so they come and annoy the thousands of people I’m talking to.

God what’s with that?? I just plain don’t get it. The thing that really makes me shake my head is that so many of them are young. When we were that age, we had a bit more life, we understood the excitement of a relationship with you, not with the bible. That’s what their relationship is with, it’s the blimmen bible. Sorry God, I know it’s your word and all, but it’s not supposed to take the place of hearing you direct.

Don’t be sorry Mark. Remember Satan quoted scripture at me.

Well God it used to be much older people, but just as lifeless as this new younger group of religious gripers – they’d stand up in church, and read from the bible and then look all pious and say rubbish like, “May God bless the reading of his most holy word.” For goodness sake, no wonder the un-churched can’t relate to us. Actually come to think of it, I think I said something stupid like that myself once after I read out loud from the bible. But I got over it quickly when I realised how religious it all was.

When we were young, thousands of us, actually millions on millions of us stood up and said “ENOUGH!!”, “Enough of your religion”, we demanded that God speak to us direct, and you were to comply. You welcomed it!! We refused to buy into Religion’s lie that we needed to spend half our lives reading our bibles and quoting verses.

And yet the crazy thing was that at the same time, we read our bibles probably more than the stuffed shirts whose religion we were rebelling against. Of course the bible is your word, but you’re not bound by it in relationship any more than a human can only speak to his friends through txting.

But now all these kids, our children’s generation, are acting like a whole bunch of pre-Charasmatics, like hell-bent lunatics, an apt description in this case, hell-bent on blocking their own and everyone else’s ears to what your Spirit is saying. They leave me speechless as they chant out their boring mantras.

They say stuff like, “To read, to study, to meditate upon the words of the Bible, prayerfully, intentionally, faithfully and humbly, is to enter into the most wonderful conversation with the Living God.” Spare me God!! The intention is good, but us humans don’t talk like that, Religious Automatons might, but real people don’t.  

They pretend a conversation with you, but what they’re doing is reading the bible, remembering popular interpretation, and pretending that it’s direct revelation from you. They’re not demanding to hear you speak direct to their spirits.

They’re too scared they might get it wrong. They have no vision to know what you’re thinking and so they rail against anyone with the courage to do so. They’re leading themselves and so many others to darkness. It gets my goat God!!! I’m serious, I’ve had enough of them I really have. Our generation wouldn’t have put up with them.

And God the thing that really ticks me off is that their own knowledge of scripture is so sadly lacking. They trot out their popular understanding of scripture and pretend they’ve heard it as direct revelation when clearly they haven’t.

I have a young mate who’s seriously seeking more contact with you, but he is left dismayed at the rule-bound dementia these people, mostly young like him, display. I’m not sure whether I’m madder at the youngsters who should have the balls to demand more than their ‘bible book club Christianity’, as my friend calls it, or those few older Zeds Zeds who lead them astray.

They go on and on about checking everything with the bible, and they seem to miss that I probably have a better command of scripture than they do. Yes you speak through scripture. You always have and I’m guessing you always will. But what about the people who have no scripture and yet still hear you.

How come those religious busybodies don’t get excited when they hear those stories? How come they don’t think “Wow, God speaks even without the bible”? It just makes me shake my head God, I think they’re so bible-mad that if you turned up in person and were speaking down on the beach at Mission Bay that they’d prefer to stay at home and read their bibles in case you said something on the beach that didn’t fit with their knowledge of scripture.

And I would Mark.

Would what God?

Say things that disagreed with their narrow view of scripture.

God that’s not nice, they and plenty of the normal not so religious Christians will think I made that up, they’ll think I’m putting words in your mouth, suggesting that you think those religious ones, those nitpicking ones who are always griping about my conversations have a narrow view of scripture.

They have such a warped, over-zealous view of scripture, that such a comment will hit them right where it hurts God. So although I like the idea of hitting them there because they’re starting to tick me off, that still doesn’t seem very nice God. It’s one thing for me to want take a swipe at them, but naughty to suggest that you do.

You’re not suggesting anything Mark. I am. And they’re not the only ones with a pitifully narrow view of scripture, you all have that. You Christians have an increasingly narrow view of scripture. You don’t have any real idea what it means, you just quote the well known verses and satisfy yourselves with the popular understanding of what they mean.

Ok. Yes you’re probably right God.

Very right Mark. You are personally friends with four doctors of theology, experts, far more expert than your nitpickers as you call them. And yet each of your friends, experts, doctors in scripture, admit that their views are way too narrow.

Oh man God!!! I like my expert mates, those doctors of theology and divinity buddies. They’re brainy and inspiring people. They know how to think, not like these predictably, boringly religious types I’m telling you off about.

Yes. I like them too. A lot. Mark they themselves admit that their views are narrow. That’s part of what drives their study. They know they’re only just getting started, which is why they don’t grandstand and tout their knowledge like the people you’re up against. They’re too busy trying to learn more.022

Okaaay. What’s your point God. I want to just vent, grumble, tell you I’m ticked off with these people who grizzle, who want to grandstand on my facebook page, and annoy my readers with their nasty narrow minded comments about how you’re not really God, because you don’t say what they think the bible says you say.

Why?

Because I’m annoyed, just want to ‘have a go’ I guess.

It’s more than that Mark.

What do you mean?

You’re perplexed. Unsure.

About what?

You know about what. You can’t figure out how these young people are so religious in their view of me.

Yeah, what’s with that God??? When we were kids, there was a whole generation of us encouraged by people like Loren Cunningham of YWAM, the Garratts of Scripture in Song, Winkie Pratney, Larry Norman, Keith Green, Barry McGuire. They did so much to encourage millions of us to discover that we could hear you. Just hear you. And now here are all these kids, our children’s generation, convinced they can only hear you if they read the bible. What on earth is that about???

And those who acknowledge it’s possible to hear you direct, still have to check everything that anyone, me included, hears from you against scripture. That’s a great idea, but without your Spirit to teach them they misconstrue scripture. And most of them don’t know enough of it anyway. They don’t realise that what they think scripture means is not necessarily what it means at all. They seem to have missed the idea that anything written down needs to be interpreted, and interpretations differ. These Zed Zeds and others mischievous busybodies are pretending to 'disciple' these well meaning youngsters, but are actually destroying what a generation of your greats did to set people free from Religion.

As I have often said Mark, Religion is the most powerful demonic force. It masquerades as truth while leading so many down to misery in my name.

And their Sept 23 nonsense!

God some looney prophet is scaring people with the nonsense notion that ‘the rapture’ is going to happen on September 23 – where on earth do we get these crazy Christians??
 
More than one person is spreading that rumour Mark. Lots of people are running scared.

Honestly?!? Oh man God, where do we get these people for goodness sake??

Humans Mark. Just ordinary people.

Surely not God!! Spare me, pagan tribes have been looking at the sky and thinking it was going to fall, pretty much ever since the world began. And now these people, with full access to a normal education, are making a mockery of you by spreading this nonsense. It makes me cross God.

Me too.

Why you?

Because they could be listening to me, but instead they listen to the father of lunacy.

Well do something about it then please God, for goodness sake! Get these blimmen whackos out of the public eye!! The rapture on September 23? The end of the world? The birth of the church? What will they come up with next?? You and I both know God that nothing like this is going to happen on September 23!!

Yes I know that, but how do you know it?

Well God seriously? Apparently the stars are going to be in the same configuration as when you were born on September 23. So what?? The sun rose on the morning you were born too, that’s a fairly significant galactic event, but it doesn’t mean that every time the sun rises, we’re in for the rapture.

Yes. But how do you know for sure it’s not going to happen?

Well I asked you just now. And you said I’d be dying at a ripe old age, and so would my kids, and their kids after them.

Yes. But why did you ask?

Because I heard that some drop kick Christians were running around scaring people with the wild idea that because the planets do something unusual on September 23, that the rapture is going to happen. I mean seriously? Surely these self-appointed prophets know better than this?? They’re peddling bull#@&t God!

Sadly they don’t Mark.

Why?

Because they don’t know how to hear me. Period. They’re lost. Deaf. Have no idea how to hear me. Nada. They’re barking up the wrong tree and listening to their enemy.

But God they’re pretending they know exactly how to hear you.

Well they don’t. They listen to him instead and think it’s me. They listen to him condemn them for their faults, and then they pass that condemnation on to others. Just like the Pharisees did. They listen to him demand extra service to me, and they load that on others too. They listen to him demand they read more bible, pray more prayers, sing more worship. It’s all rules Mark. Rules, rules and more rules. His rules. Not mine.

He’s already got them fooled into thinking his voice is mine, so now this whole September 23 thing is so easy for him to slip in. They’re gullible and up for any rubbish, because THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HEAR ME. So many men and women teaching the church, have no more idea than a goat how to hear me. Does that concern you Mark?

Concern me?? To be honest no! I’m over it God. Up to here with it. Those weirdos can stew in their own silly rubbish. What concerns me is that they are telling the poor unsuspecting, unchurched about their crazy ideas. I’m just hoping my unchurched friends, people who I like and respect, don’t hear this latest round of Christian craziness. They’re the ones I’m concerned about. I don’t want these numb nuts telling them that you’re going to turn up and take all the lovely Christians away, and then thrash the poor buggers who are left. Spare me God!! Where do these people get this crap???

You know exactly where they get it Mark, from the father of crap.

God you said crap! Hah!!

Mark I invented crap, remember. Without that function, you’d be doomed. Ask a doctor. But back to the September 23 lie -- my suggestion to the church is stop listening to this prophet and that, and start listening more to me. “You do not need that any man teach you, because the spirit teaches you, stick with what the Spirit says.” Eph: 3:10

But nobody knows how to listen to you God!!! That’s why they’re all so eager to listen to anyone who proclaims themselves a prophet. That, and they’re all too busy being bullied by Satan into trying to please you with super-Christian-effort.

Well then teach them. And teach them to teach others how. Start an army.

Nope. Not me God. If you ever catch me having anything to do with starting a religion or a movement of any kind, shoot me right there and then. I’m trying to help people listen to you, so that they can be free from being dominated by this one or that.

Mark if you teach others to hear me, they, not you, will overthrow this lie that I only speak through the prophets, or the bible, depending on which lie they’ve bought into. I don’t want to speak through a man, I want to speak to each of you, just on my own. Yes I’ll use the bible, and I’ll use what others teach you too, but much more importantly, and much more often, I just want to talk direct to you.

Well that’ll be a shock for all the ‘I’m-the-big-man-of-God’ types God.

It’ll be a shock to more than just them Mark. On one end you’ve got the ‘God-only-speaks-through-the-bible’ fundamentalist lie, and on the other you’ve got the ‘listen-to-the-mighty-man-(or-woman)-of-God’ lie. I’m not coming to whisk you all away and thrash all the ‘naughty ones’ on September 23. Sorry but that’s not how it goes down. It will be just another day. It will have plenty of evil and plenty of good, just like any other day. But I tell you what I am doing, right now. I’m not waiting till September 23, I’m doing it right now.

What God??

I am beginning to crush the systems of control that find my people obedient to the direction and whims of this leader or that, and unable to hear me for themselves. This is the very thing that Martin Luther and so many others have spoken against, the control of God’s message by mere men. And it’s happening again. I am going to set people free from all that.

So Mark, if the September 23 Rapture is more of the enemy’s lies, why would he lie about that sort of thing?

God he’s been driving my generation, and the one before, to be rapture-mad for the last 40 plus years!!

Yes why?

Because it takes our eyes off living in the world you have given us, a beautiful world, it makes us not want to bother doing a great job of the world and our time in it, because hey, we’re going home soon right??

And what do you think of that Mark?

God it makes my blood boil. You made us to work and play and live and have a fantastic time on earth. To make the place better for our having been here, but the bloody devil has us all running around waiting to be beamed up to heaven, and hassling the poor unchurched to ‘get saved’ so they can come too. You want us to enjoy and build each other, not harass in a mass spiritual panic.

Exactly. That will do for now.

But God I wanted to talk about Winkie Pratney and Dennis Peacocke, and a number of other very smart men, and the stuff they’ve got from you around this subject of not trying to run away from the world, but actually building it.

We can talk about that later Mark.

Ok.

Religion gets in the way of my voice. (It does NOT make it easier for you to hear me.)

Ok so good morning God.

Yes.

Yes??

Yes Mark.

Yes what God?

Yes it’s a good morning.

Did you honestly say that God? Did we honest-to-goodness, just go through that little exchange? I mean, I know it’s normal for you and me to talk like that now, but I still find it unbelievable some days. Crazy, weird. It seems to defy common sense.

It defies Religious sense Mark, but Religion and his servants have been defying me since the beginning.

And bang! We’re straight into it again God! Why does talking with you always have to have such deep and important meaning like this. It gets so deep so quickly – it’s always like a philosophy or theology session. Deep rational thinking.

Mark it’s not because of me, it because of you, everything with you has to be like that.

Me?

Yes you.

You mean me personally.

Yes. That’s the way you personally like things. Deep. You want to know what’s really going on, always. You want to know what others are thinking. You want to know what I am thinking. You were the little boy that always asked ‘Why?’. You still are. That’s how I made you. Some are like you, some are not.

Ok?

And because you’re like that, I talk to you like that. Do you get that?

Yes I guess.

I talk the way you want me to talk. I am comfortable talking every different way, but you are only comfortable talking your way. That’s fine, when talking to you I talk your way. Philosophical, theological, rational, deep.

Far out… mind boggles God.

Yes. But mine doesn’t, so that’s the fun of it for you. Mind stretching.

Ok, God everything I was ever taught about you, makes an exchange like that highly unlikely.

Why so?

Well sin I suppose. I’m VERY sinful. Very wilful, very selfish. I’m not supposed to be able to hear you when I’m sinful.

Have you read the bible Mark?? Name me a perfect person other than me, Adam and Eve.

Ok fair enough. So how come we think we have to be better people before we can hear you?

Religion and his dark servants have lied to you.

Dark servants?

Demonic presences, dark angels, strongmen. Religion, every religion, is a cesspool of them. Laughing and screaming in delight as they lead you away from God, whilst you, all the while, think you are walking toward me.

Shoot God!! That’s a bit heavy.

Yes it is. Far too heavy a burden on those who think they are heading toward me.

God you know that’s not what I mean! What I meant is that’s a heavy thing to say about religion.

You talk about it like that Mark.

Yes but that’s me. I’m not God. I have a bad attitude about Religion. And I’m human so I’m allowed to. But you’re God, so you have to be way nicer. I’ve had it up to there with all the crap that people get fed by Religion. If I could get my hands around his throat I’d strangle him like he strangles so many who start out hungry for you. All his rules, all his expectations – “more prayer, more praise, more meetings, more serving, more tithing”, and all of it apparently what you want. But obviously it’s not what you want at all God.

No it’s not. And I’m going to get even heavier with Religion Mark. I am doing things that will crush much of what has become accepted as normal by you Christians. It’s all going out the door. I don’t what your systems, I want you. Religion lays heavy burdens on people, and then never lifts a finger to help them. I don’t like that Mark. I don’t like it at all. Imagine how you’d feel if you saw someone mistreating your grandson.

I’d be livid God, wanting to belt them.

Yes quite. And Mark when I see Religion mistreat people, pretend that he is leading them closer to me, when he is actually leading them away? When I see that I get cross.

Okay, far out, this is getting… well, I don’t know God, a bit over the top. We were just talking about the morning.

That’s how you like it remember. Meaning. Deep. Even the bible is full of reference to the morning being good and blessed by me. But why get legal Mark, we’re just talking.

True. But it is weird God. And I still find it hard to get my head around. It doesn’t fit with what we were all taught was normal Christianity. You’re not supposed to turn up for a chat about little stuff like the morning!?!

Really? I’m God remember. I’m not vindictive or oppressive or fault-finding like you’ve been taught. Not even looking for guilt like you’ve been taught. But I am God. That bit was right, so I do get to make my own mind up about things. And I made my mind up before time began, to turn up for a chat every morning. You already know that.

Well God when this first happened, all my pastors said that you weren’t saying what I thought you were saying at all. That my conversations with you were misguided, and not you at all. They said I should try and hear you less, and just read the bible more. They said The Freedom Diaries was a dangerous book, and they’ve since poisoned a whole raft of other pastors against it.

But there are thousands more pastors who are for it Mark. And anyway, you’ve made unwise comments about others before today, so what’s the big deal if they do the same to you?? It’s pretty typical behaviour for you humans. You’ve told people that certain people’s work for me is questionable, when actually I was very happy with what they were doing. ‘Live and let live’ is my recommendation Mark.

LUKE 9:49-50 “Master,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us.” “Do not stop him,” Jesus said, “for whoever is not against you is for you.”
ACTS 5:38 “Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

Ok true. I guess I’ve probably criticised others working for you more than I realise.

A lot more Mark. A lot more! So what do you think, does this conversation we’re having seem like me?? Forget about your Religious background, and whether this conversation fits with that. Does this conversation feel like what your spirit knows about me??

Feel God? What my spirit knows?

Yes. In your spirit, you know exactly what I’m like. Your religious mind, shuts it off, but your spirit is hearing me constantly. Your religion gets in the way of my voice, rather than making it easier to hear.

Ok well yes, this sure does seem like you.

That’s good. It is me. You’re getting better at this.

It still seems so foreign though God.

Which bits?

That you would speak like this. That God, actual God, would speak back and forth.

And what other bits?

That you’d have a little exchange like you did above, almost tongue-in-cheek. Almost like you were having me on in some way, playing with me.

Yes. I enjoy this as much as you.

Bull God!!

I do Mark. I enjoy our discussions. I look forward to them, even more than you do. You think that I do this for your sake, and of course I do. But I do it just as much for my own

The damnable, bald-faced, Satanic lie. The lie that God only speaks through the bible.

God I think you said earlier today, that you want to talk about the lie…

Yes I do Mark. I want to expose the lie.

Are you sure?

I’m sure. The lie has gone on too long. Most know it’s a lie, but are afraid to expose it, afraid they might be misunderstood, afraid people will misunderstand and shun them.

I’m a bit concerned about that myself God.

Don’t be. I want this said. You’re not the only one who’s going to say it. Many of you are hearing me tell you to say this, but you’re worried it might not be me. That’s because this is the news your enemy is terrified will get out.

Ok, I’m happy to do it then God, happy to expose the lie, as long as you’re really sure. This will shock some people God. Are you sure you want to shock people??

You know the bible verses about that Mark. Plenty of them. Verses that make it clear that shocking is often necessary. Verses about that, and stories about this one or that, saying things that shock and concern. People moved by me to break things apart. Remember what Ahab said about Elijah?

Yes. It’s the verse before my favourite verse, my absolute favourite. “Is that you oh troubler of Israel?”

Yes. My heroes have always been seen as trouble makers.

Ok.

Well get on with it Mark.

You mean expose the lie?

Expose the lie.

Well…

Go on Mark, do you have the courage?

God are you challenging me??

I am.

Ok then, I’m up for it, I’ll speak it out.

‘on with it then Mark.

Ok God you’re talking about the lie, the vicious, mischievous lie that God only speaks through the bible.

Yes.

Yes what God?

Yes it’s a lie.

God somehow I’d rather that I had said it. It seems pretty scary to hear you say it yourself.

It’s a lie Mark.

Ok then, you want to expose the lie that we don’t need to listen for your voice in any other way. The lie that the bible is enough, the lie that we don’t need to hear you in the Spirit, don’t need to listen for your voice direct to our spirits.

Yes that lie. You’re doing well. You’ll get in trouble for this, but be so thankful you were born in this generation. Men have been burned at the stake by the Religion and his servants, and burned for much less than exposing this lie.

Much less?

Yes. You’re hitting right at the heart of the Satanic Kingdom Mark. Satan’s lie that the bible is so wonderful that you don’t need to listen to me.

Ok God, I’ll take it from here – you’re talking about the lie that takes away the beauty of hearing your voice. ‘The gentle voice’ as my mate Daniel Walker says. Your sometimes gentle, sometimes hilariously funny, sometimes melodic voice. The voice as you called it in John 5:30, the voice that whispers, sings and hums words to us – whole wonderful sentences to us, full paragraphs to us. The lie that robs us of all that, and makes us so, soooo religious and rule-bound.

Yes. You’re doing well. And it is a lie Mark. It’s time you stopped pussyfooting around the subject. When someone tells you that the bible is the only way I speak, don’t worry about offending them, just call them on the lie. Because it is. It’s a damnable, corrupt and sinister lie. It stops my people hearing my voice. Imagine someone convinced your kids that the only way to hear you was reading your emails. Imagine someone prevented you from speaking direct to them. You’d be angry. I am Mark. Angry. Not with people but with the father of that lie. I want you to put you hand over his mouth Mark. Push him back. Command him silent.

Whoa God! You’re getting all worked up. Wow.

You love it Mark, you love it when you sense me rumble. So stop worrying about being mistaken for someone who doesn’t value the bible. You’ve authored a book filed with bible verses. Don’t worry about what people think, just speak what I have told you. Get on with the job! Of course I speak through the bible. But I speak more into a person’s heart, much more than I do than I do through the bible. There, I’ve said it. Now, let the battle begin.

More God?

Of course more Mark. Think about it. Even those literate enough to read, and wealthy enough to have constant access to the bible, you are only going to be reading it for a small part of the time. You’re human! But you can be listening to me whenever you have a question you would normally ask yourself. You’re always asking yourself this question or that. It’s a human thing. But imagine if, instead of asking yourself all those questions, you asked me and received answers direct to your mind and spirit. Mark it’s not practical to find a bible and rummage through the pages, every time you have a question.

God there are plenty of church bosses who are deeply worried about that idea. They’re worried that if people put too much emphasis on hearing you, that they might make a mistake, might hear you wrong.

Yes. And Mark if the Pharisees, bible experts, could get scripture so wrong that they horribly murdered the God of their scriptures, then it’s clear that reading the bible, is just as dangerous as listening to me.

True God.

Mark I want the naysayers, the bible-pharisees to stop and think, I want them to answer these questions… I want them to stop burdening others with so many rules about how I do and don’t speak. I want them to stop shutting up the door to those who just want to hear me, to those tired of Religion’s rules and regulations.

Ok God. A bit rude…

Overdue rude Mark. Ask them this; they’re the bible experts, they know that I promised that after I had gone, the Holy Spirit would come and speak. So where do they get the idea that the voice of the Holy Spirit would only last until the bible was canonised? What a ridiculous idea.

You Christians need to start thinking Mark. Why would I do that? Why would I speak to you one day, and then the day the bible is finally canonised, suddenly stop speaking? Give me one good reason a loving Father would do that. You Christians have to stop peddling Religion’s silly lies. He’s bad enough, doing damage enough, without you helping him spread his mischief.

One good reason God? They seem to have way more than just one!!!

Yes plenty of reasons Mark, and all of them a sham, smoke and mirrors Mark. A lie.

You’re pretty het up about this God??

You have no idea Mark, if you could see the centuries of people robbed of the chance to hear my voice. Robbed by this lie that I only speak through the bible. That lie is one of the ‘gods’ of Satan’s unholy trinity.

Unholy trinity?

Yes. The three Satanic Majesties – the unholy trinity. The first of those three great dark majesties, is that you must constantly be thinking about, and trying to improve on, and confessing your faults.

Then there’s the lie that I only speak through the bible. And yet I am always speaking Mark. I have never stopped. Do you honestly think that I, the God of heaven and earth, am bound by a book? Honestly? That I can only speak through those written words? Honestly??

Matt 4:4 Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

Ok that’s two, but there are three?

Yes. That you must listen to the priests if you want to hear me. Religion has always had its priests, always fooled you that the safest way to hear me is through them. It’s a lie Mark. The true priests don’t want you believing that any more than I do. They want you hearing for yourself. It’s not their job to hear for you.
 
1 John 2:27 “You do not need any man to teach you, but the Spirit that you have received teaches you. Remain in him.”

God I’m resisting the urge to reprimand you and tell you to please not talk like this, it will only get people’s backs up.

Well, that’s the unholy trinity Mark. There it is. Three great lies, three satanic majesties. Each lie governed and managed by a major dark angel presence, a strongman.


Wow. Ok.

Exactly. And Mark be honest with yourself, you don’t actually really care about getting people’s backs up, not if they are constantly preventing others from listening to my voice. My cool, clear, healing voice. You think you do, but actually you don’t. You’ve had enough of pussyfooting, and so have I. It’s time Religion was silenced. His mischief must stop. Yes of course I speak through the bible, but equally, and more often, far more often, I speak to men’s hearts. Direct. And women, and children. I speak to humans. Direct. And no, they don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be ‘saved’, they just have to be human. The bible makes that clear Mark. I spoke to people whatever they were like. And I’m still the same God.

The bible is a wonderful book, but my voice is an even more wonderful thing. Yes I speak through the bible. But how did the early church hear me, how did John hear me, how did I myself hear my Father? Only through scripture?? Pah!! Use your brains Mark. All of you, use your brains. You must start using them. If you want to win the world, you need to engage your brains and see the ridiculous lies Religion tells you for what they are.

And Mark, what about the centuries of Christians, who couldn’t read, what about them? How did they hear from me, when they couldn’t read the bible anyway? Come on, answer me that?

God you’re preaching to the converted.

Yes. But you’re not. Tell them. Tell them to use their brains and stop preventing others from hearing me.